Something a lot of people in today’s time don’t understand is that discussions can and should be able to become adversarial…
It’s an art to discuss something to the fullest extent and then go back to being friends and not many really can do it in today’s world because everybody believes there is only one truth and only one way and everybody else is wrong.
Especially in BDSM relationships that’s often the case because you need that structure for the power dynamic. So in a BDSM relationship, this can be more tricky and needs a lot of respect from all sides.
Ideally, you have a free debate about ideas in which the submissive can say whatever she likes without the fear of getting punished for it and the Dominant can say whatever he wants without losing his Submissives faith.
As I said this can be tricky and often its something very hard to accomplish – most relationships will not be able to sustain it – that said it enriches the relationship by a lot and will give you times that are amazing and change your mind.
I myself would say I have a very complex understanding of what and why I believe some things (of course everybody thinks of themselves like that so no surprise here) and past submissives could always give me new insights and some did even change my mind on some aspects and institutions – so it’s always worth to have controversial conversations.
However, you and your partner will get frustrated from time to time – it is okay to be simply on different sides and not to move on them. Learn to agree to disagree and let bygones be bygones… – you will not always find consens…
Often you or your partner will learn something new and quite often you will agree on some totally different views from what you started the discussion from and will see you are more similar then different in your views 🙂