This is kind of a side post about my own feelings around this topic of having different people for your love relationship and your play partner.
I don’t know if it´s still my love for her or just coincidence but a lot of the last events that were BDSM related reminded me of [JP] . This talk in particular because it was SO similar to the situation we could have had.
The Submissive that explained her relationship was poly, had a normal partner were she lived and had her Dominant in another EU country. – Which is also really similar…
My love partner did know I was poly from day one and I told him from the beginning that if he ever say´s or does anything against my Dom, my rules or me being together with him, our relationship was over.
Somebody else asked:
So if your partner wouldn’t be okay with you having a Dom you wouldn’t go in the relationship?
I love my Dom too, he puts so much time in me, he helps me without question and is always there… I share my location via GPS, he is the first who gets a picture of what my new tatoo looks like and the last person I call before going to bed – and yes my love partner has to be okay with that. I’m so thankful and happy I had my Dom in the past and I will not jeopardize my happienes for another relationship where I don’t know where I am in in a couple of years… – with him I know its real!
This so hit me, was it the one thing [JP] wouldn’t agree to and that made the decision to split up unavoidable…
There she was, a submissive that loved her Dominant and did know the Value of that relationship.
For others to understand why this was such a hit: When [JP] told me she wanted to see other people and get a new relationship I asked her what happens if her new partner would demand that we quit our D/s relationship.
Her answer was that we, as a couple, would be over then, maybe could be friends and I would have to be okay with that. Maybe if we had really discussed this more we could have come to an agreement and I asked her to talk with me shortly after the break-up but she didn’t want to.
I still have her voice from the last recording in my mind… ‘…don’t ruin it…’ – And I still don’t know if she thinks I ruined her plan or if she meant the weekend was real and I would ruin the memory of it if I think it wasn’t… – so much confusion… but back to the topic at hand…
When I heard that another Submissive did exactly what I asked [JP] about, it made me very Sad but also very happy.
Very sad because it was the version of how J and I could have worked out and I felt again how much I miss her.
Very happy because that means there are people out there who set the right priorities and are happy – which means [Miss] and I can find somebody like that too.