D/s and Love-Relationship (Personal Part)

This is kind of a side post about my own feelings around this topic of having different people for your love relationship and your play partner.

The main Post about this Topic you can find here

I don’t know if it´s still my love for her or just coincidence but a lot of the last events that were BDSM related reminded me of [JP] . This talk in particular because it was SO similar to the situation we could have had.

The Submissive that explained her relationship was poly, had a normal partner were she lived and had her Dominant in another EU country. – Which is also really similar…


My love partner did know I was poly from day one and I told him from the beginning that if he ever say´s or does anything against my Dom, my rules or me being together with him, our relationship was over.

Somebody else asked:

So if your partner wouldn’t be okay with you having a Dom you wouldn’t go in the relationship?


I love my Dom too, he puts so much time in me, he helps me without question and is always there… I share my location via GPS, he is the first who gets a picture of what my new tatoo looks like and the last person I call before going to bed – and yes my love partner has to be okay with that. I’m so thankful and happy I had my Dom in the past and I will not jeopardize my happienes for another relationship where I don’t know where I am in in a couple of years… – with him I know its real!

This so hit me, was it the one thing [JP] wouldn’t agree to and that made the decision to split up unavoidable…

There she was, a submissive that loved her Dominant and did know the Value of that relationship.

For others to understand why this was such a hit: When [JP] told me she wanted to see other people and get a new relationship I asked her what happens if her new partner would demand that we quit our D/s relationship.

Her answer was that we, as a couple, would be over then, maybe could be friends and I would have to be okay with that. Maybe if we had really discussed this more we could have come to an agreement and I asked her to talk with me shortly after the break-up but she didn’t want to.

I still have her voice from the last recording in my mind… ‘…don’t ruin it…’ – And I still don’t know if she thinks I ruined her plan or if she meant the weekend was real and I would ruin the memory of it if I think it wasn’t… – so much confusion… but back to the topic at hand…

When I heard that another Submissive did exactly what I asked [JP] about, it made me very Sad but also very happy.

Very sad because it was the version of how J and I could have worked out and I felt again how much I miss her.

Very happy because that means there are people out there who set the right priorities and are happy – which means [Miss] and I can find somebody like that too.

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